After reflecting on my practice and how I am feeling about the world at the moment, I have decided to express my grief through my art. I was very touched by the book ‘Grief is the thing with feathers’ and the author describes a crow that comes to visit as a metaphor for grief. So for the time being, I am going to work with crows and feathers.
METHOD
When rethinking and reflecting on my practice, I realised that drawing was a comforting process for me so I started with some drawings of crows. I decided to draw with my left/non-dominant hand because:
– I enjoy it because I feel energised by the feeling of not being fully in control in my making;
– I want the mark making to be more loose and expressive which I find easier to achieve with my non-dominant hand;
– The feeling of not being in control is a good metaphor for how I feel about the change in world order at the moment.
Another reason for drawing crows was to study their faces and anatomy as preparation for future work. Below are some crow drawings made with my non-dominant hand:
I then made one in Chinese ink but with my right/dominant hand:
Two study drawings of crow feathers with my dominant hand:
As I was drawing the feathers, I thought about making an installation with feathers. I thought of a crow feathers curtain reflecting my obscured view as a result of the grief I feel at the moment. Below are my sketches about this idea:
Then I returned to more crow drawings:
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REFLECTIONS
I have enjoyed the drawings and indeed found the process comforting. I liked the outcome of the non-dominant hand drawings but was not so happy with the Chinese ink painting made with my dominant hand. The latter came out too neat and didn’t have the energy of the non-dominant hand drawings. This was an outcome that I expected and remain deeply frustrated about – I just cannot seem to achieve the same looseness with my dominant hand. I think I have to accept that and consider how I use both of my hands in different situations to create different effects. But I am concerned that as my non-dominant hand becomes dominant through practice then it would lose that ‘magic’. I know I am overthinking now and I shall deal with it as I go along.
I have thought a lot about the idea of the ‘grief curtain’ installation. I have researched the materials to be used, such as a chain curtain, a walk-through frame to hand the curtain and also where to source crow feathers. The latter in particular is an area that I am not familiar with at all. During the low residency week, one of my course mates suggested an artist for me to look at:
MccGwire is well known for her sculptures made of feathers. I will take more time to research and study her work.
LEARNING
This is the start of a set of new work as a result of rethinking my practice after my recent tutorial where we discussed how I was feeling about the drastic change in world order. I have chosen grief as a topic to reflect the sense of loss that I feel. I have chosen crows and feathers as a way to express the grief inspired by the book ‘Grief is the thing with feathers’. I started with drawings as a form of comfort as I ‘ease’ into this new exploration for my practice.
The drawings have confirmed that I prefer the expressive mark making done by my left hand and remain frustrated with the neatness of my right hand! Thinking about which hand to use for which part of my making adds complexity but it’s a new way of thinking and making that I think I will enjoy.
This is a start and I will continue to explore the topic. I am still interested in the ‘grief curtain’ concept and will keep it in my ‘ideas bank’ for now.
NEXT STEPS
Make more work and don’t overthink.
Research the artist Kate MccGwire.
elizarawlings 